Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Dear Body, you weigh 138 pounds hollywood says youre fat

Dear Body,
YOU WEIGH 138 POUNDS, HOLLYWOOD SAYS YOU'RE "FAT", Pft! You're not fat. You're anorexic *Between* meals. AND you are f'ing beautiful no matter what Fakeywood or any other bird anus thinks!

Yeah, I said it. I weigh 138 pounds. Gasp! Hollywood says I'm "fat". To that,  I say how 'bout you start embracing curves and true beauty rather than endorsing anorexia and other eating disorders??  And to Hollywood saying I'm "fat", I  give the most eloquent and classy form of the middle finger. 138 times. Plus one for kicks. Followed by a happy-snoopy-dance. 

So here it is. One of my many letters I get to write myself, my body and all the other goodness they come up with.
photo from National Organization for Women Foundation

Dear Body,

I've never taken the time to truly reflect all the goodness that you really are to me, but, rather abused you and occasionally even took you for granted.  The one thing you managed to teach me is never to take things for granted and, that, through every step and every moment of this life of ours, you never let me down. You just maintained a sound and most robust form that I will never take for granted again.

I promise to never curse you as I see your reflection looking back at me, but rather, appreciate and honor all that we are together.  Although we are far from society's form of "perfect", you are perfect to me. I love your Porcelain skin and red hair and I embrace every freckle, every scar, your palette of colors and I love the very fact that you are *not* flawless. These things make you unique and  I cherish those most of all because they make you mine and no one else's.  

I'll even thank my cellulite for reminding me that I'm no longer permanently ill of what was once thought to be an incurable disease.

Thank you for always reminding me when I need to find a place to rest or stretch you out in some obscene yoga pose. For warning me of the bad and praising, evolving and flourishing in the good. And when I need to find a specific form of relief or release to make you feel whole again.
I promise to fuel your desires in the healthiest form and  will even treat you to an empty calorie here and there. Let's face it-We have one life to live (sorry Evolution believers); no reason to deprive a soul of a little tiny happiness every now and again.

I will never starve you or allow you to fall victim to a society whose beliefs include women looking like ten-year-old stacked boys. Or like Alice Copper in spandex. Minus the bad hair. And spandex. 

I won't allow any (or lack thereof) spoon to feed my ego more than yours. And I will always have your best interest at heart.  I will intently listen to you and all of your signals, happy hints and warning signs. I promise to tend to you as a servant would their master. To nourish and appreciate you with every ounce of my being.

I will embrace your curves and every inch of your form because you remind me of this thirty-something journey we've been blessed with.  You remind me of all the good as well as the bad and all the in-betweens that have brought us to where we are now.

I will never make false promises of perfection but, just know, you are my sacred temple and I have every intention to treat you as the great temple that you are to the very best of my ability. To be your loyal servant through every breath we breathe in this life together as you have given me the best gift of all.

photo from


  1. Good letter to your body and you don't even weigh 10 stone, you are a lightweight.

  2. We heart our Mel so! The Angry Lurker said "10 stone". I love that. Great post. Great letter.

    I weigh 158 pounds! I own it and I am more than happy to share it. I hate that women feel the need to hide or lie about their weight because of what Hollywood and magazine covers have done to us as children. I am glad to see you sharing this with all of us. The girls will approve.

  3. I weigh 134 and think I look great. You are beautiful, and I'm glad you can see it too.

  4. I weight 182 pounds I am pretty sad about my hair ass though

  5. Are you sure that 138 lbs. isn't pure muscle from your ninja training?

  6. A letter every woman would do well to write to her body! Boo to scrawny Hollywood bodies! At 138 pounds you must have a fab figure :-)

  7. Sheesh...yeah, fat...if you're TWO inches tall! I wouldn't believe anything coming out of Hollywood, btw. :)

  8. Here, here! As the mother of four daughters, I wish our ideas of beauty would change back to when normal full figured women were idolized and not vilified.

  9. Sexual chocolate!

  10. I must be fat too. I weight the same. ;_;


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