Thursday, February 24, 2011

Anniversaries and The rape store with a side of ka-hiney

Happy Anniversary Anubis! Te Quiero siempre para siempre para siempre pase lo que pase~
Look at him. All best friend/love-of-my-life-ish. Making me sappy and everything. I heart him so.

Another nonsensical and random post for your viewing pleasure.


I was telling my husband about this man at That.One.Store. that shall remain nameless so I don't lose my internetssss and stuff and stuff. The "rape & Murder store" as he called it.  Anyway I always say I will never stop at this store because of all the random things that have happened there but I had no choice but to visit this store.  So there he was. This guy was a creepy creeperton, if you will.  He didn't seem to be checking me out in that kind of way. But he watched my every move from pulling into the lot, stepping foot out of the car, pulling my jeans @ my thighs, ever-so-slightly back out of the ka-hiney canal, (Yes. I've coined that term. And yes, when you see us girls pulling at the thighs of our pants in the way that we suspect is "subtle", we are really pulling our pants out of the ka-hiney canal) and every footstep I took into the store.  He wasn't checking me out at all. It seemed as though he was more...studying and admiring what my head might look like on the top shelf of his refrigerator. As of late, I still have my cranium. Go me!

Since its been kind of stressful these past couple of weeks, my cousin asked me to go out "Dancing". Dane Cook style "around our pocket books and shoes". Me dancing is like Barney selling crack to kids. Its not quite what you expected of the purple dinosaur and you really don't want to see the chubby dinosaur do it again. Somebody just leave Baby in the corner.

A friend of mine told me they had to share my Anal sex story today. Anal sex makes a family dinner awkward.
When a certain someone in my family is grilling me on why I haven't spawned any uterine escapees, I just bring up the subject of anal sex. It stops them in their tracks every single time. Thank you anal sex!

I was hoping THE BODIES EXHIBIT would make its way back  this year but looks like we lose. The whole dead fetus in jars was beyond frightening but other than that...amazing. Controversial or not. 

Anyway, today is my Friday, the start of my weekend and our anniversary. Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. If not, well Chewbacca sends his love.


12 comments:

  1. Your post is a delicious blend of utter nonsense and outrageous volcanic eruptions of a dangerously swollen id. I wish you could have spent some time, as I have, on Dr Freud's couch. He didn't help me any but I unknowingly gave him lots of good shit for one of his books.

    Anyway, congrats on your analversary! May your ka-hiney remain unwadded. Blessings.

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  2. Your post is definitely interesting and different and the anal story needs more elaboration.LOL

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  3. happy anniversery! your utter nonsense is why i love reading you!

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  4. So...when a conversation is getting personal just bring up the Anal that's what you're saying? Noted.

    Also, the Ka-Hiney Canal sounds like possibly a scenic place in Hawaii you might go for a picnic. Yikes. :)

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  5. Yeah, You are crazy funny. We could have been Best Drinkin' Buddies.

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  6. Happy Anniversary to you and your loved one :)

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  7. whoever said 'analversary' gets two points from this guy.

    happy anniversary to you guys. glad the ka-hiney canal has remained unscathed.

    ode to cantelope.

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  8. Congrats on another year of wedded bliss! To many, many more. <3

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  9. I have to second the Happy Analversary. Don't let the stiffley stifflersons dictate topical content of the dinner table. Sometimes we just have to ask ourselves, What Would Walter Sobchak Do?

    Four stars.

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  10. Yes, you are crazy funny--I made the right choice tossing a "Bronze Severed Head" ribbon at you like beads at Mardi Gras (though I didn't get flashed, alas.)

    Belated congrats on your anniversary!

    Here's three links that you might like:
    http://drunkenseveredhead.blogspot.com/2008/05/bodies-exhibition-part-one.html

    http://drunkenseveredhead.blogspot.com/2008/05/bodiesthe-exhibition-part-two_24.html

    http://drunkenseveredhead.blogspot.com/2010/02/this-winter-i-find-myself-kept-indoors.html

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