Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I'll Take Elvis Costello for 5,000, Alex

 Yes. I'm alive and a complete lame ass for that whole MIA/hermit routine. I have missed reading all of my kickass blog peeps soooo. *tear* 

Warning: About to commence Operation Rant My Ass Off for about 10 minutes.

Its totally going to be a 'play-The Cure-in-my-car-kind-of-day today'.  Sad bastard music unite! I might even have to add Echo & the Bunnymen and Died Pretty with a side of Avett brothers, Stabbing Westward, and City and Colour to the mix. Don't hate. Its a Sad-Bastard-Music kind of day.

Stress has officially kicked my bright porcelain ass one too many times this past month. The whole coming-home-in-tears-everyday-thing has grown so old so fast and is far too much sad bastard-ness for me. Really. See! The Tin Girl really does have a heart. Since I am semi-anonymous here, we won't name names but we'll call this cockstick, "Bird Anus #1". Just to be clear. So it turns out, Bird Anus Number 1 is a complete, uber ahole from the depths of uber, ahole hell. Fully equipped with donuts on one side and his cheap cigarettes on the other. Yeah. So he likes to scream in my face and breathe his cheap cigarettes and dead tooth breath all up in my business.  Lucky for me, my shortness comes in handy here. So Job B has been torture. I've been such a sad bird about it...I'm getting on my own nerves. As far as Job B is concerned, I can only handle the yells, lectures, glares, more lectures, screams, negativity and dead tooth-cheap cigarette breath so many times before I just burst into flames.  So the goal is that Job B will soon just be part of my Wall of Hell Shame and I won't have to deal with it anymore. Here's to not coming home in tears today or I will sock someone in the nose!

More randoms:

  • One day, I will go to Comic Con. You lucky bastards. I've missed out on all the Horror Cons and, once again, Comic Con. More shit to add to my pity party  to-do list. Woot.
  • What the hell happened to Val Kilmer anyway? I mean, really.
  • Thanks for making me think (in the midst of speed reading) that another 28 days/weeks flick was about to be released. Don't toy with my emotions. OK so I guess you redeemed yourself with the INTRUDERS trailer
  • Must. Make. Plans. To. Visit. Hocking Hills. Stat.
  • Regular soda, you evil bastard. You made me gain 8 pounds in under a week. Pfffft.
  • Reality is, my life isn't terrible at all. Sure, Job B is fracking awful and Bird Anus #1 is a prick but aside from that, things are pretty awesome. Too bad I can't focus more on the awesome rather than the horrendous details of Job B and the dick hole adventures of Bird Anus #1. Sigh.


  1. Thank you for stopping by Dr Clint's HMO. I have taken your case under advisement and have determined that no doctor on earth---not Freud, not Jesus, not Bob Dylan, can help you much. Perhaps some intervention could help, but the thing that sticks in my mind most is that you are entirely healthy and are responding to the stress of life in these United States better than anyone I know---including myself. Keep doin' what you're doin'.

  2. Oh crap Meowlissa... sounds like you are having all manner of shite in your life right now, thanks to Job B!

    Not good.

    Sending all positive thoughts your way that you'll focus on the good stuff.... and also negative ones to Bird Anus #1 that will hopefully cause said Bird Anus #1 to spontaneously combust... or get taken out by a hawk or something else dire that will remove his smelly presence from your face ;-)

  3. Meowlissa, sounds like a party. I'll bring the Pork Rinds. Wherever you are going, or if you are just sitting around, I would like to tag along with that playlist! I think the last time I heard anyone talk about Echo, The Cure and Elvis in a post was, oh I don't know, NEVER. Though if you really want to lay it on with the sad core tunes, why not fold in several Smiths tracks? :)

  4. Ummm? Are we related? Re-reading your rant I see you use the word 'cockstick' which is perfectly close to 'fuckstick' which I keep in a pretty gold gilt box and take out on special occasions. Not sure if you have ever seen the movie about the Kellogg's with Dana Carvey, and that Ferris Bueller kid, but it was there I heard the phrase, "He's a fuckpig. I hate him." Maybe you could alternative between fuckpig and cockstick--both sound apt for this "person"

  5. val kimmer got fat, and usually plays villians now, like in that mcgruber movie

  6. that is a spectacular playlist even if it is a sad one.i agree with keith. fold in some smiths tunes and it gets even better. hate to hear things are difficult right now. let's send the red face from insidious over to bird anus number one.

  7. You stay strong my friend, assholes are everywhere including Bird Anus 1.

  8. Man, I hate jobs and Bird Anus 1s. Situations like that are usually when my best zombie attack fantasies come to light. But don't take crap from anyone. Life's too short. I hope things get better, and I would sell my soul (again) for Comic Con and a new 28 Days Later flick!

  9. meowlissa, i hope it will be better for you. I get them rant days too and I don't even have the energy to write about it :) Good for you, just let it out :)

  10. Where are the new posts???? Did you really burst into flames???

    Fuck that cockstick bird anus prick!! I hope by now, you have gone spider monkey on his ass!!

  11. Meowlissa! Where are you? Come back!!




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